Self Evaluation

Hmmm. I feel like i'm starting to see it. The field.
I'm able to see outside myself today. As I run the game I see myself making mistakes and when I make a touchdown. It seems like a lot of new pick-up artists start at the bars. I might consider doing that but I want to start first with my own social circle for now. I don't want to throw away the friends I've already made but apply what I can to the social arenas I'm already in. I spend alot of time at work and church. Those people I run into on a daily basis, and also service people, waitresses, cashiers, etc.

Review of Today Interactions:
After service

T.H. Asked me how I was doing.
We were interrupted by GK. Lost her. Made my first big mistake. Should have immediately transitioned to introducing the two and asking if they knew each other. Finding out how they knew each other instead of shifting attention to Grace.

GK conversation went well for the most part. I opened with: "Are you here to collect and shake me down for money.". She asked me about my TLC, I talked about it briefly, Asked her about her TLC, found out they went to autumn blaze and told her about autumn blaze before it moved to the arena. I told her my towing story. Found out she was coming to joy. Overall good conversation. Should have added some more cocky and funny comments but wasn't able to think of anything funny. She responds very well to that.

Her friend Jules came in and interrupted, I'll give myself brownie pts for introducing myself so I wouldn't get boxed out although I blurted out that "I was new at joy" in order to find something to talk about. Thus i demonstrated lower value. Instead I should have asked how she knew GK. How long, how they knew each other, etc. How long she was at Joy. I think i kinda redeemed myself by saying she was 1/3 of the reason why I was here. I should have asked for her number. Be good to have on me.

I really dig SY. She's gorgeous. I think I may have bombed any chance I have with her today. She was asking me a question today, I forget what the question was. Dang it, I should have been paying attention but I think I was attentive when I noticed she was shivering. I told her to take my jacket but with some resistance, she took it, I dunno if that was a good sign or bad. I forgot to disqualify myself as a suitor by negging. I should have said, Don't get any ideas okay? I'm just giving you my jacket because I'm a gentleman :). Idiot Idiot Idiot! We're definitely not at that level of comfort where an IOI like that would be welcomed but the gentlemen in me got the better of me. I didn't want to see the girl freezing like that. It's just inconsiderate.

I can't tell if she was acting cold to me afterwards or whatever. I didn't really get a chance to initiate conversation. She's very hard to read and very quiet. She shared today about how her dad wasn't christian. I should have asked about that. I think great material for openers in these church situations is just to use the material they give you. I mean i realized we share so much with each other at church but are we really paying attention. Today I learned that. . .

- YM was most likely to cut class . . . went to rutgers 04, nichols.
- EK was best dressed
- JC best dancer
- SY best student but never studied, also dad not christian
- S does MMA and eats alot
- ET - was most inquisitive

When i first saw SY today, I started thinking of reasons why I didn't want to date a girl like that. BS reasons really. She dresses really nice so I caught myself thinking that she's too high maintenance for me. I don't make enough money to support a girl like that. That's total BS and I can't believe I was telling myself that. I'm the 10. What makes me think I'm undeserving? yeah, I'll admit it. I can feel insecure about my status sometimes because I don't got a nice car like my friend or make a big salary but worth getting to know. I go insecurities because I ain't perfect but it ain't about being perfect. It's about putting my best foot forward.

In the past I would have just forgotten all this but now I'm picking it up. I'm being more attentive and all this starts as great opener material you can use to talk to someone and express genuine interest in who they are.

I notice I start to talk too fast and then i begin to lean forward, stare off, instead of making eye contact, and my hands begin to move. too animated. Need to keep cooler demeanor. All this time I had no clue how I come off to others, now I'm starting to develop an awareness and slowly but surely I need to weed out bad habits of presentation.

This should be common knowledge but knowing it in your head is different from seeing it and know i really see SY is a quiet girl. She doesn't talk much. What works on other girls doesn't work on her. I have to pay attention to what she responds to and do more of whatever that is.

Juggler's workshop notes
Q. What if the girl is very quiet / not very talkative.
A. She may be shy or does not know how to express herself. I must give her enough room by, for example, introducing a broad topic, eg. travel, lifestyle etc. If she is still quiet - I may ask to find out why; "you seem like there is something going on in your mind . . . what is it?".

Here's my thought.

ME: SY, I've noticed that your a pretty quiet person, but I've noticed about quiet people usually have al lot on their mind. What are you thinking about?

Hmmm, so what do I say if she says she's not thinking of anything? Gotta think about that one.

We loose interest when there's no ESCALATION. Plateaus are boring. Most importantly, predictability is boring. Leaving nothing to the imagination is uninteresting. Mystery is intriguing.

I have so much more on my mind but no more time to write.