APRROACH ANXIETY

So I successfully pulled off a warm approach tonight, I guess I'm learning how to get the hang of this. Still I feel pissed at myself that I didn't pull off a cold approach.

One of the girls I met DHV'd me. I asked her to show me her moves and she said I had to earn it. Good line, one I'll have to use in the future. "You'll have to earn it, show me something". She even did the "I asked you first". I gotta learn how to handle those responses. She's trying to make me go through her hoop.

Shoulda said,

Me: "Is it worth earning?" Turn the tables on her. Out alpha her DHV
Her: "Of course it's worth it!"
Me: "It's fine you don't have to show me if you don't want to" and smile

Turn and engage other members of the group. Make her feel left out, punish her by turning your attention away. The end goal is not to see her moves, it's to DHV. Show her you won't fall for her hoops. Don't be emasculated

Her: I asked you first, at this point i should Neg
Me: *Playfully reluctantly, kino* Okay fine, since your sooo interested . . . I'll tell you one first but you have to tell me one after that.

I noticed the girls warming up to me later on in the night. I got alot of ioi's from JK. She literally went up to me and put her hands around me. Talk about aggressive. Shoulda have said "woah there, slow down" after the first time "this ones going to cost you, you only get one free trial but I'll give you one last go because I like you", make her do a turn, turn her into me, "Alrite shows over", turn away? Is that too much?

Shoulda hit on that model

Me: My friends over there wanted me to come over and dance with you. Do you think we can dance for a bit. It'd be really embarrassing for me if you rejected me infront of all them.
Her: "Okay" Hopefully
While we're dancing go into styles qualify routine:
I need to be honest with you, My friends really did want me to come over here to dance with you. But I also wanted to come talk to you. I saw you on stage before, your one of the models right? Your really beautiful and beauty is wonderful but there are alot beautiful women but it's not the most important thing . . .

LY was leaning up against me when we were talking plus she was leaning in to everything i said. I kept cool body langauge and I got her info. Wonder if she'll facebook me. Laughing Ly.

Plus I'm terrible with names, dang it, I just can't remember anyones name. Gotta find a good recovery for not remembering a persons name. Some kinda neg hit that lets me get away with it.

I'm loving this. I see all these afc's trying so hard and just turning these women off by being to aggressive. I'm no pua right now but I'm starting to see their mistakes and I feel more confident when I talk to these girls, I wasn't nervous talking to NY or SY. I think they can sense that. I gotta remember to follow up on facebook.

I said NY wasn't exactly long term material because she's a dancer. F*ck all those ideas. WW was right. Just because a girl does that stuff doesn't mean I should judge her. Screw it! I remmeber the girl she was in HS. *Sigh, and I know she is down this path because of her dad.

Gotta follow up on NY, SY, JK, JC, JDC, LY

I need to go out more. I gotta find some wingmen and hit the clubs weekly. I need to do my first cold approach and kiss close. It's time to get more serious.

ASIAN GIRLS ROUTINE

OPENER

Hey I've been arguing this with my friend. She thinks that she can tell whether or not your Korean, Chinese, what not but I don't believe her.

What are you, wait, let me guess it. . . blah blah
Oh your Taiwanese? Have you ever been to Taiwan blah blah.

What do you think I am.

Or...

See if they ask what you are,

Say No to whatever they say.
I'm actually South American.

Well my friends think I'm Mexican when I get a tan.

THREAD:

How do you girls know each other? Are you all best friends?

I've noticed best friends always make the same expressions or look at each other before responding, see you girls just did it.

THREAD:

You would date a guy who doesn't eat rice?/Would you date a guy who doesn't like the same food as you?, What if he doesn't like your cooking.

THREAD:

Oh my gosh I remember this one time when I was in/ china, a family friend took me out to dinner to this place for delicacy and you won't believe what they made me eat. They serve me a dish called wolf meat, what do you think it really was?

LOCK IN ON THE TARGET

Whats your name? What's a word that starts with the first letter of your name and describes who you are?

Oh yeah? BLAH BLAH BLAH ask questions . . . etc, convey genuine interest

TURN FROM THE GROUP. ISOLATE

QUALIFY HER:

Your a beautiful girl but beauty isn't uncommon. There are allot of beautiful women around and beauty is great but there's alot more important things than just looks. Aside from your looks, what would you say are three things about you that would make someone want to get to know you more?

I find myself drawn to you, but it's more than just your looks, you have to rationalize this for me.

ASK QUESTIONS

What are you passionate about?

Are you doing what your passionate about?

BUILD COMFORT:

Talk about anything game
have you ever heard of the talk about anything game?
rules are simple
the person to start the game must say something really random
the more random the better
so the other players of the game
which is just you and me since theres just two of us
have to continue to talk about that random thing
person who runs out thigns to say loses
The key to playing this game is to act really really interested in this random topic


Neg a little say
Wow what do you have going on in that mind of yours. Have you played this before.

your the person who brought this up so you better have plenty to talk about when it comes to XYZ topic

his is going to be the most amazing conversation on XYZ you've ever had.

Finish the game by saying
i feel like we could talk about this all night
pretty darn long for a conversation on XYZ don't you think haha
i feel that this makes us have a special bond now that we've talked about XYZ.
it's like no one else can understand this but us

NEGGING

Did you know the word gullible isn't in the dictionary?

KINO: I'm just messing with you guys, the truth is . . . your a good sport.

Your eyes close when you smile, look your doing it again.

Is she always like this?

Do you have ADD. I notice your eyes wondering around,

Don't you have to be 18? Are you even old enough to be here? Can I see some ID?

KISS CLOSE

Let her talk and just stare at her

ME: Would you like to kiss me
HER: NO
ME: Who said I'd let you?

ME: Would you like to kiss me
HER: MAYBE or NO RESPONSE
Go for the kiss, draw a c around her face and pull her chin in.
ME: Just making sure :)

NUMBER CLOSE

So when were you going to ask me my number

Rip up a business card, styles number close

SEQUENCE

1. Open Group

2. Entertain Group

3. Lock-in on your target

4. Qualify the target - kino escalate
(Look for ioi's, hair touching, touching you, eye contact, compliments)

5. Build Comfort/relate to target - kino escalate

6. Show ioi's

7. Go for the kiss close

8. Number Close

9. Chat a little bit before disappearing

Haunted by a mistake

It's just so painful when you've made a mistake that may have cost you the opportunity get to know a girl you really find attractive. When SY asked me that question yesterday, I should have answered, built rapport. I should have waited till the end of the conversation after building some comfort to politely point out that I noticed she was cold and say "here's my jacket take it, I can't
stand to watch you so cold but don't get any ideas, I'm just trying to be polite :)." Why! I wish I could have a do-over.

On the other hand, I didn't do so bad today out with my friend EO. Opened well at the liquor store and had the set going with my fake I.D, open. Carried the conversation by asking how old they thought I looked.

Built good rapport with EO today at the bar. I think by just relating to what he was saying and improving my listening skills, correcting myself when I interject. I never realized how much I interrupted people. My ex was right after-all. Is that what I did to her? No wonder she started closing off to me. At least I listened well enough to EO today to make him feel understood.
I also had a decent conversation with the bartender. She was cute. I need to work on my threading better and leave less room for gaps. Working girls tend not to stay long. I needed to have the next thing queued up in my mind before the current topic gets boring. Should have asked for her number. I really need a nicer phone. I'm frankly embarrassed to number close with my current phone.

All the master pick-up artists innovated and synthesized. They took bits and pieces from other PUA's to create their own unique style and they added their own originality to it to make their own unique way of seduction. Pick up artist seems like such an inadequate title when it's about so much more than just pick-up.

Sick of my boyish ways. I wanna be a man.

10 STUPID THINGS MEN DO TO MESS UP THEIR LIVES

1. STUPID CHIVALRY

By getting involved with the wrong woman (weak, flaky, damaged, needy, desperate, stupid, untrustworhty, immature etc.). you think your love will save/transform her.

2. STUPID INDEPENDANCE

Unwilling to admit "need" for bonding and intimacy, you hide in excesses of work, play, drink, drugs, porn, and meaningless sex.

3. STUPID AMBITION

Unable to comfortably and proudly accept your inherant importance to society and family as husband and father, you bow to the false idols of money, toys, power and status.

4. STUPID STRENGTH

Uncomfortable with feeling weak, vulnerable, useless, powerless, or rejected, you use intimidation, force, or passive- aggressiveness to regain control.

5. STUPID SEX

Taking an attraction, opportunity, or erection as a "sign," you measure your masculinity and power by sexual conquests, infidelities, and orgasms.

6. STUPID MATRIMONY

Lacking an understanding of the purpose, meaning, or value of marriage, you realize too late that you've gone down the aisle with the wrong woman for the wrong reasons and feel helpless to fix it.

7. STUPID HUSBANDING

Thinking that marriage is the honorable discharge from loving courtship, you continue to live as though you are single and that your "mommy-wife" will take care of everything else.

8. STUPID PARENTING

Believing that only women/mothers nurture children, you withdraw from hands-on parenting to assert your masculine importance, missing out on the "soul food" of a child's hug.

9. STUPID BOYISHNESS

Having not yet worked out a comfortable emotional and social understanding with your mother, you form relationships with women that become geared to avenge, resolve, or protect you from your ties to Mommy.

10. STUPID MACHISMO

Understanding the true and meaningful difference between being male and a man, you can become a man.

From TEN STUPID THINGS MEN DO TO MESS UP THEIR LIVES (CLIFF STREET BOOKS) by Dr. Laura Schlessinger

Self Evaluation

Hmmm. I feel like i'm starting to see it. The field.
I'm able to see outside myself today. As I run the game I see myself making mistakes and when I make a touchdown. It seems like a lot of new pick-up artists start at the bars. I might consider doing that but I want to start first with my own social circle for now. I don't want to throw away the friends I've already made but apply what I can to the social arenas I'm already in. I spend alot of time at work and church. Those people I run into on a daily basis, and also service people, waitresses, cashiers, etc.

Review of Today Interactions:
After service

T.H. Asked me how I was doing.
We were interrupted by GK. Lost her. Made my first big mistake. Should have immediately transitioned to introducing the two and asking if they knew each other. Finding out how they knew each other instead of shifting attention to Grace.

GK conversation went well for the most part. I opened with: "Are you here to collect and shake me down for money.". She asked me about my TLC, I talked about it briefly, Asked her about her TLC, found out they went to autumn blaze and told her about autumn blaze before it moved to the arena. I told her my towing story. Found out she was coming to joy. Overall good conversation. Should have added some more cocky and funny comments but wasn't able to think of anything funny. She responds very well to that.

Her friend Jules came in and interrupted, I'll give myself brownie pts for introducing myself so I wouldn't get boxed out although I blurted out that "I was new at joy" in order to find something to talk about. Thus i demonstrated lower value. Instead I should have asked how she knew GK. How long, how they knew each other, etc. How long she was at Joy. I think i kinda redeemed myself by saying she was 1/3 of the reason why I was here. I should have asked for her number. Be good to have on me.

I really dig SY. She's gorgeous. I think I may have bombed any chance I have with her today. She was asking me a question today, I forget what the question was. Dang it, I should have been paying attention but I think I was attentive when I noticed she was shivering. I told her to take my jacket but with some resistance, she took it, I dunno if that was a good sign or bad. I forgot to disqualify myself as a suitor by negging. I should have said, Don't get any ideas okay? I'm just giving you my jacket because I'm a gentleman :). Idiot Idiot Idiot! We're definitely not at that level of comfort where an IOI like that would be welcomed but the gentlemen in me got the better of me. I didn't want to see the girl freezing like that. It's just inconsiderate.

I can't tell if she was acting cold to me afterwards or whatever. I didn't really get a chance to initiate conversation. She's very hard to read and very quiet. She shared today about how her dad wasn't christian. I should have asked about that. I think great material for openers in these church situations is just to use the material they give you. I mean i realized we share so much with each other at church but are we really paying attention. Today I learned that. . .

- YM was most likely to cut class . . . went to rutgers 04, nichols.
- EK was best dressed
- JC best dancer
- SY best student but never studied, also dad not christian
- S does MMA and eats alot
- ET - was most inquisitive

When i first saw SY today, I started thinking of reasons why I didn't want to date a girl like that. BS reasons really. She dresses really nice so I caught myself thinking that she's too high maintenance for me. I don't make enough money to support a girl like that. That's total BS and I can't believe I was telling myself that. I'm the 10. What makes me think I'm undeserving? yeah, I'll admit it. I can feel insecure about my status sometimes because I don't got a nice car like my friend or make a big salary but worth getting to know. I go insecurities because I ain't perfect but it ain't about being perfect. It's about putting my best foot forward.

In the past I would have just forgotten all this but now I'm picking it up. I'm being more attentive and all this starts as great opener material you can use to talk to someone and express genuine interest in who they are.

I notice I start to talk too fast and then i begin to lean forward, stare off, instead of making eye contact, and my hands begin to move. too animated. Need to keep cooler demeanor. All this time I had no clue how I come off to others, now I'm starting to develop an awareness and slowly but surely I need to weed out bad habits of presentation.

This should be common knowledge but knowing it in your head is different from seeing it and know i really see SY is a quiet girl. She doesn't talk much. What works on other girls doesn't work on her. I have to pay attention to what she responds to and do more of whatever that is.

Juggler's workshop notes
Q. What if the girl is very quiet / not very talkative.
A. She may be shy or does not know how to express herself. I must give her enough room by, for example, introducing a broad topic, eg. travel, lifestyle etc. If she is still quiet - I may ask to find out why; "you seem like there is something going on in your mind . . . what is it?".

Here's my thought.

ME: SY, I've noticed that your a pretty quiet person, but I've noticed about quiet people usually have al lot on their mind. What are you thinking about?

Hmmm, so what do I say if she says she's not thinking of anything? Gotta think about that one.

We loose interest when there's no ESCALATION. Plateaus are boring. Most importantly, predictability is boring. Leaving nothing to the imagination is uninteresting. Mystery is intriguing.

I have so much more on my mind but no more time to write.

One journey ends and another begins

"The art of the cold approach pick up is both elegant and noble"
- Mystery.