Sarging is one of those things you have to do with the right friends. You can't go boarding with newbies. They only slow you down. If the people around you don't have the same mentality as you then they just get in the way. My friends from CCCNJ have zero game and they just get in the way. In the past I've always avoided bring girls around to meet them and they are not socially savvy enough to want to bring a girl to meet. Playing Nintendo DS and talking about games while also making it a big deal when your talking to a girl is just not the kind of behavior you would want from a group of friends you would want a girl to meet.
VENUES:
As much as I like hanging at Karaoke bars, I want to hit up a place where there are a lot of people. Problem with Karaoke bars is that it's not really a social environment, you may see two or three sets and we're also not that into singing.
I need to start steering Cwingers to hit up some parties. At least monthly check out ACCESS NIGHTLIFE, BASENYC, MAGICMATCHPARTY, and STAGE NIGHTLIFE events. In order to bypass being stopped at the door and so we don't have to pay cover, we'll hit the clubs early. Get our names on the list, find ourselves a table, go out and sarge, leave the club at 2:00, grab some eats and head back. I can't be coming home at 5 or 6 in the morning.
We should also work on our day game. I'm thinking hanging out at malls, parks, and book stores, dividing into groups of two and practice opening sets.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Sunday, December 23, 2007
So This is What it Means to Experience Attraction
I just got back from Quentin's wedding this weekend. I can't believe it. The guys married. We're both the same age and I can't imagine being married right now. Every wedding is beautiful, it's probably the most glamourous day a monogamous relationship sees. To think that the older couples who have lost the fire in their eyes and have let themselves go all started out the same glamourous way.
I realized that Social Interaction doesn't exhaust me like it use to. Rather I'm becoming more extroverted and way more talkative. My mind is getting quicker and I feel alot more confident initiating conversation. I realize oftentimes people are just hanging out waiting for someone to lead the conversation.
I just got back from the Xmas service at L Church. Ran into a friend of mine that I knew from high school and boy did she turn my head when I saw her. She looked great, I mean really pretty. I kinda knew it was her but I never took much notice of her in High School in fact she was seemed kind of annoying back then. For a second I wasn't sure who it was because I didn't remember her looking this stunning before. She had the cutest dress thing on and this fun presence and great energy about her. Seeing her today reminded me again of what it's like to see a girl you really find attractive. All the bridesmaids this past weekend were just like blah but I tried my best to work it and so I tried to find find it in me to see them as attractive and no that they aren't attractive but just not to me. When you see a fish you like, you don't have to think twice and today with SX, I knew right away I liked this girl. I couldn't not think about her. My mind was preoccupied with her the entire time. I tried to look for her after coming back downstairs and I was worried that I had missed my opportunity to get a number or an e-mail.
Anyways, I thought we had fun talking to each other about our high school days and catching up, talking about her venture and so on. I know I still have some ways to go in my game after today.
- Escalate more physically
- Lead more. SX is a strong, confident, independent girl. You need to take charge with her. Instead of saying, "you wanna go inside?" Which she interpreted as asking for permission, just tell her. "Lets go inside".
- ISOLATE ISOLATE! Now I know why the experts are always saying isolate. This is a key move. You can't further the interaction and connect on a deeper level when there's people every where. Thing I'm finding out about social environments is that they are not very conducive to two people making a connection. There's a lot of distraction. People come in a interrupt you. Your friends or her friends can come by and jump in. It's fine once or twice, you can make introductions and it works in your favor the first couple of times because it demonstrates that you have social value but to many interruptions and you will lose her. You gotta find a place where there's not a lot of traffic. Of course you don't want to be alone in a room, that's just weird. You still want people to be around but out of the way. You should have Isolated her after exiting, coming back, re-initiating the conversation and then relocating. Take charge again.
- Always carry a pen and pencil
What Do You Look For In A Relationship Self Quiz
Please answer by putting a number from 1-5.
1. I could care less
2.
3. fairly important
4.
5. Non negotiable
Physical Appearance:
3. A girl doesn't have to look like a victoria secret model but she needs to blow me away. I don't care if other people don't think much of her. As long as she is attractive to me. They gotta be healthy/fit and someone who presents themselves well. A attractive voice is also really important.
Personality:
2. She doesn't have to be misses personality. I don't care if she's popular or not as long as she's tactful enough to not do stupid things around my friends or embarrass me in front of other people. The chemistry between the two of us is more important. What matters is that we naturally vibe and have fun times when we're together
Character:
5. I don't expect anyone to be an angel. I'm not any where close to perfect and I can forgive a lot of mistakes. I just hate people who are too prideful to apologize when they are wrong, or they aren't very forgiving, or if they are spoiled princesses. I hate bitchiness. It annoys me to no end and I have better things to do than to put up with your shit and be your punching bag. Only occasional bitchiness is tolerable. A girl needs to know how to treat a man with respect. I will not tolerate any emasculating. Period. What's really important to me in a relationship is honesty and respect. A woman who consistently treats me like a man and is honest and open with me will win my trust.
I realized that Social Interaction doesn't exhaust me like it use to. Rather I'm becoming more extroverted and way more talkative. My mind is getting quicker and I feel alot more confident initiating conversation. I realize oftentimes people are just hanging out waiting for someone to lead the conversation.
I just got back from the Xmas service at L Church. Ran into a friend of mine that I knew from high school and boy did she turn my head when I saw her. She looked great, I mean really pretty. I kinda knew it was her but I never took much notice of her in High School in fact she was seemed kind of annoying back then. For a second I wasn't sure who it was because I didn't remember her looking this stunning before. She had the cutest dress thing on and this fun presence and great energy about her. Seeing her today reminded me again of what it's like to see a girl you really find attractive. All the bridesmaids this past weekend were just like blah but I tried my best to work it and so I tried to find find it in me to see them as attractive and no that they aren't attractive but just not to me. When you see a fish you like, you don't have to think twice and today with SX, I knew right away I liked this girl. I couldn't not think about her. My mind was preoccupied with her the entire time. I tried to look for her after coming back downstairs and I was worried that I had missed my opportunity to get a number or an e-mail.
Anyways, I thought we had fun talking to each other about our high school days and catching up, talking about her venture and so on. I know I still have some ways to go in my game after today.
- Escalate more physically
- Lead more. SX is a strong, confident, independent girl. You need to take charge with her. Instead of saying, "you wanna go inside?" Which she interpreted as asking for permission, just tell her. "Lets go inside".
- ISOLATE ISOLATE! Now I know why the experts are always saying isolate. This is a key move. You can't further the interaction and connect on a deeper level when there's people every where. Thing I'm finding out about social environments is that they are not very conducive to two people making a connection. There's a lot of distraction. People come in a interrupt you. Your friends or her friends can come by and jump in. It's fine once or twice, you can make introductions and it works in your favor the first couple of times because it demonstrates that you have social value but to many interruptions and you will lose her. You gotta find a place where there's not a lot of traffic. Of course you don't want to be alone in a room, that's just weird. You still want people to be around but out of the way. You should have Isolated her after exiting, coming back, re-initiating the conversation and then relocating. Take charge again.
- Always carry a pen and pencil
What Do You Look For In A Relationship Self Quiz
Please answer by putting a number from 1-5.
1. I could care less
2.
3. fairly important
4.
5. Non negotiable
Physical Appearance:
3. A girl doesn't have to look like a victoria secret model but she needs to blow me away. I don't care if other people don't think much of her. As long as she is attractive to me. They gotta be healthy/fit and someone who presents themselves well. A attractive voice is also really important.
Personality:
2. She doesn't have to be misses personality. I don't care if she's popular or not as long as she's tactful enough to not do stupid things around my friends or embarrass me in front of other people. The chemistry between the two of us is more important. What matters is that we naturally vibe and have fun times when we're together
Character:
5. I don't expect anyone to be an angel. I'm not any where close to perfect and I can forgive a lot of mistakes. I just hate people who are too prideful to apologize when they are wrong, or they aren't very forgiving, or if they are spoiled princesses. I hate bitchiness. It annoys me to no end and I have better things to do than to put up with your shit and be your punching bag. Only occasional bitchiness is tolerable. A girl needs to know how to treat a man with respect. I will not tolerate any emasculating. Period. What's really important to me in a relationship is honesty and respect. A woman who consistently treats me like a man and is honest and open with me will win my trust.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Swinger Weekend
The better and more confident I feel about my game the harder it gets to see myself in a monogamous relationship. It seems like such a poor trade. Choice in exchange for exclusivity? I can see how people rush into monogamy and keep themselves with one person as a result of not putting yourself out there as well as desperation. This is something I noticed this weekend from our speed dating event. Your less sure of whether or not you really like a girl that you initially found interesting after talking to five or six other girls. Your no longer paying attention after seven because your mind is going numb and as DiCarlo said, "desensitized". He also said that it's "unrealistic for a man to want to have relations with that many women" which is probably why your level interest gradually declines after five.
Your mind is just a blur after thirteen dates. You can hardly tell one girl from the next and all the names are mixed up in your head. My mind needed time to sort things out and I now know who I really want to get to know. It's two days later and only three girls come to mind in the order of interest: Alix, Janice, and Alissa. I can remember a few things about Alix and Janice but nothing about Alissa except for the fact that I was kinda busting on her a little bit. I told that girl, "Yes Mike and I are friends, no we don't work together". She was fun to talk to and cute. I missed my window of opportunity to talk to some of these girls afterwards because I couldn't remember anything about anybody at the moment and other guys had already pounced on their prey like a bunch of vultures. However you never know what could have happened. Maybe they shot themselves in the foot already and they have just made it easier for me to make a stronger second impression.
THINGS LEARNED FROM SPEED DATING
- What are you passionate about, what do you like to do for fun are good questions to get her talking and also great for screening women and weeding out the boring ones.
- E-mail and number close immediately after the initial conversation and agree to put yes for each other
- Put yes or no immediately after your speed date
- If your going to be seated next to each other, do not turn away from her when you approach and sit, always turn towards her and sit, lean back against the wall and turn your head towards her with your body slightly turned towards her like your casually having a conversation at a bar. If she tells you something interesting than you can sit up and lean in a bit.
- Make friends with the guy behind and in front of you. Get his name, bust on him a little, say just wanted to see who the competition is. Give him a strong and firm handshake and make eye contact.
THINGS TO TRY NEXT TIME
- Choose one girl from the group you are seated with and tell her the following. I saw you before and thought you were the prettiest girl in the room. Anyways why don't you tell me about yourself, hmmm what would you say are three qualities about yourself that would make someone want to know you better.
- Kino Escalate more
I'm also beginning to see that women respond more to an alpha male more than anything. To be rich in relationship is to be truly rich.
Your mind is just a blur after thirteen dates. You can hardly tell one girl from the next and all the names are mixed up in your head. My mind needed time to sort things out and I now know who I really want to get to know. It's two days later and only three girls come to mind in the order of interest: Alix, Janice, and Alissa. I can remember a few things about Alix and Janice but nothing about Alissa except for the fact that I was kinda busting on her a little bit. I told that girl, "Yes Mike and I are friends, no we don't work together". She was fun to talk to and cute. I missed my window of opportunity to talk to some of these girls afterwards because I couldn't remember anything about anybody at the moment and other guys had already pounced on their prey like a bunch of vultures. However you never know what could have happened. Maybe they shot themselves in the foot already and they have just made it easier for me to make a stronger second impression.
THINGS LEARNED FROM SPEED DATING
- What are you passionate about, what do you like to do for fun are good questions to get her talking and also great for screening women and weeding out the boring ones.
- E-mail and number close immediately after the initial conversation and agree to put yes for each other
- Put yes or no immediately after your speed date
- If your going to be seated next to each other, do not turn away from her when you approach and sit, always turn towards her and sit, lean back against the wall and turn your head towards her with your body slightly turned towards her like your casually having a conversation at a bar. If she tells you something interesting than you can sit up and lean in a bit.
- Make friends with the guy behind and in front of you. Get his name, bust on him a little, say just wanted to see who the competition is. Give him a strong and firm handshake and make eye contact.
THINGS TO TRY NEXT TIME
- Choose one girl from the group you are seated with and tell her the following. I saw you before and thought you were the prettiest girl in the room. Anyways why don't you tell me about yourself, hmmm what would you say are three qualities about yourself that would make someone want to know you better.
- Kino Escalate more
I'm also beginning to see that women respond more to an alpha male more than anything. To be rich in relationship is to be truly rich.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Morning After Thoughts
Shower in the morning is a place where good ideas spring. It became more clear what happened yesterday. I remembered what Vin DiCarlo said about high and low comprehension. In a club you want to keep things low comprehension. When I tried to tell that girls from Maplewood the story about sushi conveyor belt place in palisades mall, that kind of thing is high comprehension. At a club people aren't going to be able to picture in their head this restaurant with this bar that goes around with a conveyor belt. I also think I may have over did the small talk and didn't escalate right away. Vin DiCarlo and Mystery both said things happen fast in a club. Maybe what I needed to do was begin to isolate and said something like this music is really loud, lets go somewhere that we can talk.
I was thinking today about the whole warm dominance presence that Vin talks about in Dating Diablo and it seems very consist with the whole contrast principle. I heard on David DeAngelo's interviews that conflict is interesting whereas stereotypes are boring. IF your a jock but you also play an instrument, or maybe your a geek but you are really good at paintball or something. Contrast or things that seemingly conflict when put together in one person is more interesting. The idea of warm dominance is two seemingly confliciting traits. Someone who is both inviting and nonthreatening but also a leader and in control. Neil Strauss talks about the need for balance and I think this is why opposites and contrast is interesting. Just like the feminine and the masculine are a necessary duality. The warm balances our the dominance part of your personality and vice versa. It displays strength and sensitivity and the balance of these two qualities are what women look for in a man. They don't want a macho guy or a super nice guy. They want someone who has developed the two qualities in harmony with in himself.
I was thinking today about the whole warm dominance presence that Vin talks about in Dating Diablo and it seems very consist with the whole contrast principle. I heard on David DeAngelo's interviews that conflict is interesting whereas stereotypes are boring. IF your a jock but you also play an instrument, or maybe your a geek but you are really good at paintball or something. Contrast or things that seemingly conflict when put together in one person is more interesting. The idea of warm dominance is two seemingly confliciting traits. Someone who is both inviting and nonthreatening but also a leader and in control. Neil Strauss talks about the need for balance and I think this is why opposites and contrast is interesting. Just like the feminine and the masculine are a necessary duality. The warm balances our the dominance part of your personality and vice versa. It displays strength and sensitivity and the balance of these two qualities are what women look for in a man. They don't want a macho guy or a super nice guy. They want someone who has developed the two qualities in harmony with in himself.
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