FEEL the vibe

A pick up artist mindset often gives off something incredibly disingenuine. I noticed a lot of the NYC pua guys put so much emphasis on closing. Leading the interaction forward should definitely be on your mind but you shouldn't go into a group thinking about how you have to get the digits at the end. Think about a friend whose talking to you but has a favor to ask you. You can tell instantly that the small talk is just a means to an end. You and I can sense agenda's very easily. We can tell a pushy car salesman versus one that helps us make a purchase. A helpful sales guy will tell you if their product is not right for you. Instead of the mentality of going out and picking up girls. Have the mindset of I'm going out tonight to have fun. The inner state is what will communicate the right vibe and body language. People are naturally socially intelligent meaning our brains automatically can sense the states and emotions of others and respond to them. We do this without even thinking about it by picking up subtle signals given of by face or body and inflections in the voice. You can't even force a genuine smile. Certain muscles in your muscles won't respond without the feelings to back it up. What you can do is get yourself into the right mental state and your body language, tone of voice, etc will follow and people will pick up on that. You gotta learn to enjoy talking and meeting new people and feel comfortable doing it. When you approach with that internalized, your positive vibe will be what gets people to respond to you in a friendly way.

Now it's a known fact that our body responds to how we feel inside and the reverse is also true. If you walk into a club and your feeling a bit tense or nervous, go get yourself a drink, grab yourself a seat and sit back, relax your body and your mind will follow. Slip into a calm relaxed state. Remind yourself that your here to have a good time. Take your time, there's no rush, finish your drink. Don't even worry about the other people in the club. Who cares if they see you sitting by yourself. For all they know your waiting for a friend. Plenty of people step away from the crowd to just take breather or sit at the bar and have a drink. No one even gives a shit what your doing when they see you looking calm and relaxed. People only look like chumps when they are standing around with the "what the hell am I doing here" expression on their face and body.