MY FIRST SOLO BAR PICK-UP

So I finally did it. I'm proud of myself for having the balls to put myself out there and head out to a local club and open a couple of sets. I remember lecturing myself before arriving, telling myself that I have to do this. This can't be just another night where I stay home as opportunity passes me by. I told myself I have always been an individual, I have always had to figure out everything on my own and I am a risk taker. I have overcome many challenges in life and I have never let fear be an obstacle. I want to live a life a no regrets and I will regret it if I don't get my game down. Anything worth having in this life has a price tag, it costs you something and there is always pain involved in the learning process but that's life. The walls are there to keep those people out who don't really want it.

I remember pulling into the parking lot and seeing these three white chicks with this one guy, my God those girls were hot. When I saw them I felt the fear and all the feelings of inadequency spring up. I'm Chinese, I was never able to hang with those attractive white girls and the bar is going to be full of them. For a moment fear swept over me again but I remembered the rules of inner game and I told myself your no worse than a white guy. Your experiences as an immigrant have made you strong, you are interesting because you are bi-cultural, you are no less than the white guy and you have a lot to offer a girl.

When I walked into the club I had a smile and I said whats up to the bouncer like this was my scene. He treated me like a cool guy, the bartender was attentive to me. I got myself a drink. There were two girls next to me, I felt some anxiety, tried to open but anxiety stopped me from saying anything for a while. I realized my body language was starting to get a little tense, so I relaxed again and as I leaned back I felt myself relaxing. I worried about whether or not the girl next to me would hear me if I opened, what if she was turned away and I totally make a fool out of myself. Finally I told myself that you got nothing to lose jsut do it. I waited and then I opened with a situational opener about the decorations. The girl laughed, we had good rapport, she liked sushi, I liked sushi, I should of closed asked for her number told her I knew a great place for sushi, gotten her number and then moved. Even though I didn't get a number close I still opened and got some ioi's, she leaned in, laughed at my jokes, we engaged but I was still focused on keeping the convo going so I don't think we vibed as well as we could have. I needed to make a connection and I should have capitalized more on the fact that we both liked sushi. This is not easy, I still gotta lot to learn.

I walked around and opened another set. I saw two Asian girls dancing and I told them they were in the wrong part of the club. I asked the one girl where she was from, etc. She asked about me, I told her I was Chinese. I should have busted on her or made her guess. I should have engaged her friend more so that I had both of their attention. It was kind of weird when they both ran off when their friends came back. They seemed kind of like foreigners because that girl had an accent. As Vin DiCarlo says, whenever someone does something out of the norm it means they are attracted to you. That Asian girl like ran off when her friends came back. I think she was intimidated by me. Didn't know what to do in that situation. Should I approach a second time or would that weird them out more? Anyways, that was pretty much the night. I didn't get any closes but I feel proud that I opened. I overcame that fear and I know that I am going to make a lot of fucking mistakes before I have a refined game. I need to learn to project my voice instead of shout. The place was so fucking loud. I should have tried to re-use the situational opener because it worked well but now I see the power of a simple situational observation like the ugly Christmas decorations. Definitely not easy being the lone stranger trying to open up a set of friends. I thought it was interesting how when the Asian girls friends came back, they didn't question who I was or why I was there. I think it's like Vin DiCarlo says: In a club people probably expect that kind of thing so it's socially acceptable for some guy in a club to be talking to your friends. It is a social environment after all, people go to clubs not just to dance but also hopefully meet someone.